Some things I forgot to mention in my last post that are related to it in some way. Hmmm, we will see if you follow with me in how they are related.
First, I said that it appears that most people with the form of cancer that Mom has survive about two years. I know that is not definitive! Mom is reading a blog of a lady that is at nine years now. Some of our dearest friends from the time we lived near Chicago, well Arnie was diagnosed with the same form of brain cancer I believe when us kids were in middle school. He lived for another 20 years! Over half of that time was good time. So I know these things are possible.
Second, my mother-in-law's mother died of brain cancer about 50 years ago. This journey we are on has brought some flashbacks and bad memories for her. I wonder how they even diagnosed her brain cancer without the technology of Catscans and MRIs that showed the doctors what Mom had. There also were not the treatment options available for Rose that are now available for my mom. I did ask Ralene how long between her mom's diagnosis and the end. She told me it was three months. That fits exactly with Dr. Stanfield's statement about 11 weeks with no treatment.
Above all things, we serve an awesome God that can do all things! This brought to mind a Michael W. Smith song: Above all powers, above all kings, above all nature and all created things, above all wisdom and all the ways of man, you were here before the world began.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
11 Weeks and Counting
Today marks 11 weeks since Dr. Stanfield told us that Mom has glioblastoma multiforme.
Today marks 11 weeks since we saw pictures of Mom's brain through a window and knew it looked bad and then Dr. Stanfield interpreted those pictures for us. That interpretation was a tennis ball size tumor in the middle of her brain and a grape size tumor near the top of her brain.
Today marks 11 weeks since we were told that Mom has one of the worst kinds of brain cancer there is.
Today marks 11 weeks since Dr. Stanfield told us that the median survival rate of this cancer is 11 weeks without treatment.
Today marks 11 weeks since I felt stabbed in the heart.
11 weeks is 2 days after my brother's 40th birthday.
I think today is a great day to celebrate! Mom is having many treatments so she is fighting with all she has. But we celebrated for the last two days my brother turning the big 4-0! And today we celebrated by attending a former Girl Scout's wedding in Weatherford, Texas. Congratulations go to Nikki and Tim!
A few things to note here: I am the one that counts today as 11 weeks. Mom and Dad count yesterday. In the emergency room on Friday night, December 9 the doctor told us Mom had a mass. She says that felt like someone punched her in the gut. It made stroke sound really good! So Mom and Dad counted 11 weeks to yesterday. I think I count 11 weeks to today because it was Saturday, December 10 around noon that Dr. Stanfield actually gave us those horrific numbers that spun around in my head for weeks. They still rear their ugly heads some.
Dr. Stanfield told us the median survival rate without treatment is 11 weeks and the median survival rate with treatment is 22 weeks. Dear God! What do we do with that!! So 11 weeks is right near my brother's birthday and 22 weeks is very close to my birthday. Mom said she would get to see the blossoms on the trees but not the fruit. What a great picture!
As we all know my mother is fighting hard! She has chosen aggressive treatments including two brain surgeries, radiation and chemotherapy. Before we went to Baylor, we thought we were celebrating our last Christmas together. That is truly what we were preparing for!
For the last couple of months friends have asked me about Mom's prognosis. I answered honestly that I didn't know. 11 weeks and 22 weeks ran through my head so much that I quit listening to the numbers. They hurt too much! All I really knew was that we walked into Dr. Fink's office with a prognosis of weeks and we walked out after our consultation with Dr. Nestor with a prognosis of months and years. I didn't really know the numbers.
What I am understanding now is that most people survive about 2 years with this form of brain cancer. As much as I don't like that, I do like it a whole lot better than 22 weeks! Mom and Dad and I talked about how we would rather have her here for a lot longer but 2 years is much better than we were originally told. We also know that we serve an awesome God! Mom will live on this Earth as long as His plans for her remain. And those plans are for good and not for harm!
Today marks 11 weeks since we saw pictures of Mom's brain through a window and knew it looked bad and then Dr. Stanfield interpreted those pictures for us. That interpretation was a tennis ball size tumor in the middle of her brain and a grape size tumor near the top of her brain.
Today marks 11 weeks since we were told that Mom has one of the worst kinds of brain cancer there is.
Today marks 11 weeks since Dr. Stanfield told us that the median survival rate of this cancer is 11 weeks without treatment.
Today marks 11 weeks since I felt stabbed in the heart.
11 weeks is 2 days after my brother's 40th birthday.
I think today is a great day to celebrate! Mom is having many treatments so she is fighting with all she has. But we celebrated for the last two days my brother turning the big 4-0! And today we celebrated by attending a former Girl Scout's wedding in Weatherford, Texas. Congratulations go to Nikki and Tim!
A few things to note here: I am the one that counts today as 11 weeks. Mom and Dad count yesterday. In the emergency room on Friday night, December 9 the doctor told us Mom had a mass. She says that felt like someone punched her in the gut. It made stroke sound really good! So Mom and Dad counted 11 weeks to yesterday. I think I count 11 weeks to today because it was Saturday, December 10 around noon that Dr. Stanfield actually gave us those horrific numbers that spun around in my head for weeks. They still rear their ugly heads some.
Dr. Stanfield told us the median survival rate without treatment is 11 weeks and the median survival rate with treatment is 22 weeks. Dear God! What do we do with that!! So 11 weeks is right near my brother's birthday and 22 weeks is very close to my birthday. Mom said she would get to see the blossoms on the trees but not the fruit. What a great picture!
As we all know my mother is fighting hard! She has chosen aggressive treatments including two brain surgeries, radiation and chemotherapy. Before we went to Baylor, we thought we were celebrating our last Christmas together. That is truly what we were preparing for!
For the last couple of months friends have asked me about Mom's prognosis. I answered honestly that I didn't know. 11 weeks and 22 weeks ran through my head so much that I quit listening to the numbers. They hurt too much! All I really knew was that we walked into Dr. Fink's office with a prognosis of weeks and we walked out after our consultation with Dr. Nestor with a prognosis of months and years. I didn't really know the numbers.
What I am understanding now is that most people survive about 2 years with this form of brain cancer. As much as I don't like that, I do like it a whole lot better than 22 weeks! Mom and Dad and I talked about how we would rather have her here for a lot longer but 2 years is much better than we were originally told. We also know that we serve an awesome God! Mom will live on this Earth as long as His plans for her remain. And those plans are for good and not for harm!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Grace!
So I am feeling overwhelming grace today! God's grace is sufficient! Wow! Of course, lots of people at church asked me how Mom is doing. It is so amazing to me. She has had two weeks of chemotherapy and two days of radiation treatment. The only side effects she has had are she is tired. That is it! I know that could increase greatly, but that seems amazing to me. God's grace is sufficient!
In early November, my cousin Becky came (with her daughter and best friend) for the weekend so that we could go to Women of Faith. We loved it! And plan to go again next year. We just have to decide which city. We enjoyed each of the speakers. I think probably the message that stuck with me the most was from Patsy Clairmont. She told an amazing story of her son's illness and brush with death two years ago punctuated by these three statements. People Matter! Prayer Matters! Change Can Be Good! I knew it was important while sitting in the arena, but it stuck with me. One month later when this journey began those words ran through my head. I repeated them to people at the hospital. Who knew God's grace would give me those words, those thoughts when I needed them most.
Prayer Matters! I know that lots of people are praying for my mother. I mean lots! I know lots of people are praying for our family. I know that sometimes I feel like that is what is holding us all up. Thank you! Thank you!
In early November, my cousin Becky came (with her daughter and best friend) for the weekend so that we could go to Women of Faith. We loved it! And plan to go again next year. We just have to decide which city. We enjoyed each of the speakers. I think probably the message that stuck with me the most was from Patsy Clairmont. She told an amazing story of her son's illness and brush with death two years ago punctuated by these three statements. People Matter! Prayer Matters! Change Can Be Good! I knew it was important while sitting in the arena, but it stuck with me. One month later when this journey began those words ran through my head. I repeated them to people at the hospital. Who knew God's grace would give me those words, those thoughts when I needed them most.
Prayer Matters! I know that lots of people are praying for my mother. I mean lots! I know lots of people are praying for our family. I know that sometimes I feel like that is what is holding us all up. Thank you! Thank you!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Yeah for Radiation!
So I did not succeed in 2 or 3 posts this week. Who knows maybe I will write 2 or 3 today! HeeHee
A good part of the past week was spent waiting. Waiting! Waiting! I kind of think that made this one of the hardest weeks in this whole journey. We were always doing something to fight this nasty stuff growing in Mom's head, but for one whole week we had to just wait. Oh it was hard! I know it was hardest on Mom. She had already been told by the doctors that both tumors were growing back and to start radiation ASAP. But she had to wait, wait, wait on when to start. I guess the Israelites waited for 40 years wandering in the wilderness, so maybe 1 week isn't quite so bad. It just felt really hard.
So Mom started radiation on Thursday! Yeah! Who ever thought I would say Yeah to someone killing brain cells in my mother's head. So weird! But we were all sort of celebrating. It was the beginning of the next step in this battle. I know Mom felt the same way because she looked much more relaxed when I saw her Thursday after school than she had in over a week. She was able to do something more than wait.
Oh, and by the way, they had told us proton therapy was no longer an option because the tumors were already growing back. But when she arrived for radiation, they took her in for proton therapy. We were all happy about this. If you don't know, which I didn't until a couple of weeks ago, the regular radiation would radiate her whole brain targeting her tumors. Proton therapy only radiates the tumors, causing much less ripple effect of damage.
Apparently, there are only 9 proton therapy centers. Can you believe that one of those 9 is in OKC? Wow! OK so God made us wait, but he put that center here. It apparently just opened fairly recently. But a dear friend told us that the man who invented it came here for two years from his home in Belgium to make sure everything met his specifications. As I am typing this, I am realizing how many things God put in place just to have this treatment ready for my mother to have when she needed it. And not a moment sooner. WoW!
So far, Mom is not having side effects from either her chemotherapy or her radiation. The doctors actually say that the extreme fatigue will come later in both therapies. That is part of the reason that when Brian asked if I was going with Mom to her first radiation I said No. If she is going to be as fatigued as they say, she will need me more later. So I worked with my students almost every day this week.
I must say something was in the water on Wednesday! Every child was naughty! Even the ones who are so shy they barely talk. But they were better on Thursday. And Friday we had a great day all around! Best day in a long time! But since I teach Kindergarten again, even when they are naughty they are still so cute!!
So cute Kindergarten story- J was covering his cough with his fist made into an O. I had to teach him that his cough goes right through the O, so it really doesn't help.
That's it for now! Already thinking about a second post for this afternoon. HeeHee
A good part of the past week was spent waiting. Waiting! Waiting! I kind of think that made this one of the hardest weeks in this whole journey. We were always doing something to fight this nasty stuff growing in Mom's head, but for one whole week we had to just wait. Oh it was hard! I know it was hardest on Mom. She had already been told by the doctors that both tumors were growing back and to start radiation ASAP. But she had to wait, wait, wait on when to start. I guess the Israelites waited for 40 years wandering in the wilderness, so maybe 1 week isn't quite so bad. It just felt really hard.
So Mom started radiation on Thursday! Yeah! Who ever thought I would say Yeah to someone killing brain cells in my mother's head. So weird! But we were all sort of celebrating. It was the beginning of the next step in this battle. I know Mom felt the same way because she looked much more relaxed when I saw her Thursday after school than she had in over a week. She was able to do something more than wait.
Oh, and by the way, they had told us proton therapy was no longer an option because the tumors were already growing back. But when she arrived for radiation, they took her in for proton therapy. We were all happy about this. If you don't know, which I didn't until a couple of weeks ago, the regular radiation would radiate her whole brain targeting her tumors. Proton therapy only radiates the tumors, causing much less ripple effect of damage.
Apparently, there are only 9 proton therapy centers. Can you believe that one of those 9 is in OKC? Wow! OK so God made us wait, but he put that center here. It apparently just opened fairly recently. But a dear friend told us that the man who invented it came here for two years from his home in Belgium to make sure everything met his specifications. As I am typing this, I am realizing how many things God put in place just to have this treatment ready for my mother to have when she needed it. And not a moment sooner. WoW!
So far, Mom is not having side effects from either her chemotherapy or her radiation. The doctors actually say that the extreme fatigue will come later in both therapies. That is part of the reason that when Brian asked if I was going with Mom to her first radiation I said No. If she is going to be as fatigued as they say, she will need me more later. So I worked with my students almost every day this week.
I must say something was in the water on Wednesday! Every child was naughty! Even the ones who are so shy they barely talk. But they were better on Thursday. And Friday we had a great day all around! Best day in a long time! But since I teach Kindergarten again, even when they are naughty they are still so cute!!
So cute Kindergarten story- J was covering his cough with his fist made into an O. I had to teach him that his cough goes right through the O, so it really doesn't help.
That's it for now! Already thinking about a second post for this afternoon. HeeHee
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Meltdown
Well, I held it together for most of the day today. Knowing Mom and Dad were meeting with the surgeon. Waiting for news. Teaching my small children (who were by and large quite naughty today). By recess when I had received news that Mom could not have surgery but must start radiation immediately even with the little tumor grown back. The little tumor is in fact in the exact spot it was before.
I fell apart at recess. Had a good, hard cry. Got it back together. Decided I needed to stay at school till the end of the day. Taking care of my students helps. Besides Mom was still out of town. I did postpone all of my conferences this afternoon and come straight home.
I know God is in control. I know that. I know he has a plan. What is it? For I know the plans I have for you, for good and not for harm. Jeremiah 29:11
I fell apart at recess. Had a good, hard cry. Got it back together. Decided I needed to stay at school till the end of the day. Taking care of my students helps. Besides Mom was still out of town. I did postpone all of my conferences this afternoon and come straight home.
I know God is in control. I know that. I know he has a plan. What is it? For I know the plans I have for you, for good and not for harm. Jeremiah 29:11
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Good News! Bad News!
Well, Dr. Keole, the radiation doctor called this morning with good news and bad news. Good News first- Mom is good for proton therapy. Yeah!!
Bad News - The MRI Mom had yesterday to prepare for the proton therapy shows that the small tumor that was removed on December 12 has returned. He cannot start radiation until it has been debunked again. He was on the phone late last night with both Dr. Fink the neurooncologist at Baylor and Dr. Doughty the neurosurgeon at Baylor coming up with a plan for Mom. (By the way, Dr. Keole was Dr. Fink's recommendation of the best radiation doc in Oklahoma City. At our consultation with Dr. Keole, he asked how we came to both he and Dr. Fink. He told us that she is one of the two best oncologists in the region. I think this means God has taken us to the right people!)
The plan they came up with goes like this- Appointment with Dr. Doughty tomorrow (Thursday) to consult about new surgery. Schedule new surgery to debunk recurrent tumor on Monday or Tuesday. All three doctors are on board with this plan. And all three doctors are declared the best at their specialty by at least one of the others.WOW!
So shed a few tears today, well more than a few. But ultimately I got to see my mother, her humor, her strength, her grace. I know we serve an awesome God who is in control! Mom has the best doctors around. And, well, now we can research all of those studies and trials that are for recurrent brain tumors. Maybe she is supposed to be in one of those.
So there you have it! Good news-Bad news! By the way, Mom knew something was wrong before she got the call about the MRI. Her symptoms had begun to return. So we are going to get this taken out again and move on from here. I have said it before and I will say it again - My mother is a WARRIOR!!!
Bad News - The MRI Mom had yesterday to prepare for the proton therapy shows that the small tumor that was removed on December 12 has returned. He cannot start radiation until it has been debunked again. He was on the phone late last night with both Dr. Fink the neurooncologist at Baylor and Dr. Doughty the neurosurgeon at Baylor coming up with a plan for Mom. (By the way, Dr. Keole was Dr. Fink's recommendation of the best radiation doc in Oklahoma City. At our consultation with Dr. Keole, he asked how we came to both he and Dr. Fink. He told us that she is one of the two best oncologists in the region. I think this means God has taken us to the right people!)
The plan they came up with goes like this- Appointment with Dr. Doughty tomorrow (Thursday) to consult about new surgery. Schedule new surgery to debunk recurrent tumor on Monday or Tuesday. All three doctors are on board with this plan. And all three doctors are declared the best at their specialty by at least one of the others.WOW!
So shed a few tears today, well more than a few. But ultimately I got to see my mother, her humor, her strength, her grace. I know we serve an awesome God who is in control! Mom has the best doctors around. And, well, now we can research all of those studies and trials that are for recurrent brain tumors. Maybe she is supposed to be in one of those.
So there you have it! Good news-Bad news! By the way, Mom knew something was wrong before she got the call about the MRI. Her symptoms had begun to return. So we are going to get this taken out again and move on from here. I have said it before and I will say it again - My mother is a WARRIOR!!!
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