Warrior

Mom took her first chemotherapy pills about an hour ago. She was fitted for her radiation mask earlier today. It will be another few days before she starts the radiation, but it will probably be the proton therapy. The doctor used the word 'fantastic' to describe how she is doing. He told her that he could not tell by her neuro exam that she has had two brain surgeries. He was also the first doctor to use the word 'cure' in a conversation with my parents. He was talking about this treatment giving the best chance for a cure. Anyway it comes I like that word!

I am so proud to be the daughter of this amazing woman! She is a WARRIOR! She is fighting this and will continue to do so. I believe she has been a warrior since December 12 when she had her first craniotomy. Fighting! Fighting! Then again on January 4 when she chose to have another more risky craniotomy. Fighting that cancer some more! This is the next battle for this warrior! She will fight this battle with the same grace I am sure. With her sidekick, my dad helping her every step of the way.

Rough Week

So I have tried to post several times this week, but deleted everything. It has been kind of a rough few days. Not because Mom's condition has changed, she is still doing amazingly well. She is scheduled to begin chemotherapy on Monday. She also has an appointment at the radiologist on Monday morning. We are ready for the next step in this battle but a little nervous at the same time. How hard will this be on Mom physically? How will this change her? Not only have I heard of chemo brain but they are going to radiate her brain. Anyway those questions and more are creating some anxiety.

I think I have just been feeling overwhelmed and inadequate. Trying to be what everyone needs and feeling like I am not enough to anyone. A good daughter taking care of my mother, spending time with my mother, taking care of my father as he gives his all and everything to take care of my mother, taking care of my mother-in-law as she deals with some entirely different issues. (By the way, her mother died of brain cancer 50 years ago.) A good wife in the midst of all of those things. A good sister, a good friend, a good teacher. Thank God for the small children I teach. I don't know what I would have done this week if I did not have them to make me smile and take my mind off of everything else! I told Brian one morning this week as I was crying on my way to work that I needed to just put all of these things away for a few hours and go teach small children. They do make me smile!

Maybe I just need to follow the doctor's orders and take some Me Time. Then I might feel better! Anyway I think it is time to go back to bed now. That will have to be my Me Time for now.

Surrealism and Impressionism Continued

Back to the subject at hand.

Surrealism- This whole journey is quite surreal at the moment. On December 9 Mom was told she had a mass. On December 10 we were told she had incurable and inoperable brain cancer. At that time she couldn't really walk by herself and wasn't doing really good.

Now here we are six weeks later and Mom is doing so much better! Yet there are those 'deadlines' the doctor gave us that day. It is all quite surreal. Since that time Mom has had two brain surgeries, one here in OKC by the original neurosurgeon. The second in Dallas by a more specialized neurosurgeon who said he would operate on what the first surgeon called inoperable. He gave us pretty good odds that Mom would end up literally half blind, but he could get most of the big tumor out. Well, Mom does not even really notice the little bit of her sight that she lost because of that tumor being 95% removed. We consider that to be a miracle!!

In between surgeries, while we were very much enjoying spending as much time together as possible and enjoying the Christmas festivities, Mom said to me "I don't know what to say when people ask me how I am. I feel fine. I have no pain. But I have a tennis ball in my head!!" Well after the second surgery, I told her she just needed to change that to "I feel fine. I just have a hole in my head!!" (And I asked the doctor if that hole would stay like that or not. He said because of where it is, it will probably remain just like it is, a hole in her head.)

Anyway, that is surrealism at its best I think. Mom is doing great right now. Doing my best to enjoy one day at a time and not worry about tomorrow. God is in control and He will take care of tomorrow.

So Impressionism is in this post because it is my favorite type of art. Claude Monet specifically! And I thought it appropriate for this post because Mom has made such an impression on so many young people!

Surrealism and Impressionism

Well, I created this blog to journal about this journey with Mom's cancer. Unfortunately, people that know me well know that I do not like journals! So if you have been checking here for updates, you have been sadly disappointed. So sorry! I always have great intentions where journals are concerned. Really how many Girl Scout badges or other awards did I have absolutely every requirement finished and procrastinated and forced myself to do whatever journaling was required. You could ask my mother, I think it was a battle each time!

Anyway, I have decided for many reasons that I need to use this thing called a blog. I cannot promise that I will add something every day. Well that would be a very foolish promise! I will do my best to add something every few days. How about 3 times a week? I think that sounds good and that is what I will strive for.

So this blog became something on my to do list. It was causing me stress to just be sitting on my to do list. I have jotted down many things I want to blog about. So I think it is time to get them off my to do list!

Since my doctor told me yesterday that my frequent headaches are indeed migraines, I need to make sure I have some outlet for my stress. She instructed me to take some time for myself. Among other instructions. Making plans for some good book reading. Sorry that won't help the blogging. Heehee But it should give me some Me Time and help my stress.

Brian did not know my issues with journaling and bought me a pretty journal the first week of this journey. I have jotted down a few things I want to blog about. So I will do that in the next two weeks. My journal has one of my favorite poems on the front- Footprints.

Oops I got a little bit off track. I will get back to the title of this post in the next one.